Brokeback marriages

On the whole these are not marriages of convenience or cynical efforts to create cover. Gay and bisexual men continue to marry for complex reasons, many impelled not only by discrimination, but also by wishful thinking, the layered ambiguities of sexual love and authentic affection.

"These men genuinely love their wives," said Joe Kort, a clinical social worker in Royal Oak, Mich., who has counseled hundreds of gay married men, including a minority who stay in their marriages. Many, he said, considered themselves heterosexual men with homosexual urges that they hoped to confine to private fantasy life.

This will sound terrible, but I'd recommend that women ask prospective husbands what kind of porn they look at (or sneak around and figure it out themselves). I suspect that most of the gay men who get married look at gay porn, much as they want to believe they can have a successful heterosexual marriage.